Comics: Page 1

You're a good guy, Doc. You're sensitive and caring and compassionate. And if I could, I'd spew in your face.

Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #19

"Hello, Kay. Isn't it a bit wet to be painting?"

"Kay's down in the underground, where there's no rain. You're talking to the hangman's beautiful daughter."

Magnus and Kay Challis ("Crazy Jane") in DOOM PATROL #19.

I've tried to be like them, I really have. But what happens when you just can't be strong anymore? What happens if you're weak? My painting's ruined. Everything's gone wrong.

Crazy Jane in DOOM PATROL #19

Guy was a human torch, you know? Literally. His hair... everything... but he kept on walking. Real slow, like in a bad dream. Before he died, he said something weird. I... I got it written down right here. "...scissormen... The scissormen!"

A stunned cop in DOOM PATROL #19

It begins to rain fish. Mackerel. Herring. Sea bass. Pike. Sturgeon. Tench. Plaice. Salmon. From a clear sky. Trout. No cod.

Father McGarry's last sight, in DOOM PATROL #20.

"Rain Brain says your voice is like an old black telephone and Black Annis told me to tell you that you're the first man she hasn't wanted to castrate."

"Tell her she'd be too late anyway."

Crazy Jane and Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #20.

"Thirdly be grimmer as fond brevities."

"Eider with alders."

"And erethism safer."

Three Scissormen introduce themselves in DOOM PATROL #20

In Rome, in Leningrad, in Darwin. "The door flew open, in he ran, the great, long, red-legged scissorman."


I couldn't think of one clever way to stop this guy, so I just trusted to mindless violence.

Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #21

"Jane? Jane, are you... Oh my God."

"There is no God. I killed him."

Cliff Steele meets Black Annis in DOOM PATROL #21.

All I want is the answer to one simple question before I run screaming back to the bughouse. Is this real or isn't it?

Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #21

"It might help to consider the Zen koan, 'First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.'"

"Sure. That's really helped to clear things up."

Niles Caulder and Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #21

Here the skull of a consumptive child becomes part of a great machine for calculating the motions of the stars. Here, a yellow bird frets within the ribcage of an unjust man.

Welcome to Orqwith, in DOOM PATROL #22

You know, all of a sudden I can't think of anything even remotely funny to say.

Cliff Steele sees Orqwith, in DOOM PATROL #22

Sorry about the writing. Robot fingers, you know?

Cliff Steele in DOOM PATROL #23

"You shot your imaginary friends? With what?"

"An imaginary gun! What else?"

Josh and Dorothy in DOOM PATROL #25

I wish I were an angry shoe, a bodiless balloon. Cut off my covenant with God the pain of orthopedic glue.

Darling-Come-Home's song in DOOM PATROL #25

"Shouldn't we put Cliff's brain back into the body?"

"Later, Joshua. I refuse to perform a delicate operation without chocolate."

Josh and Niles Caulder, in DOOM PATROL #34

"Where is my gum? I must try to look as normal as possible."

"I believe you stuck it onto the side of my head."

Monsieur Mallah and the Brain, in DOOM PATROL #34

Chess! I'm tormented by thoughts of strip chess. Pure mind just isn't enough, Mallah. I long for a body.

The Brain, in DOOM PATROL #34

Instead, you and I became the cornerstones of the Brotherhood of Evil! An empire of crime such as I'd dreamed of back in the old school, when the other children used to laugh at me because I was a brain in a tank.

The Brain, in DOOM PATROL #34

I don't think. I just act. You brains are the ones who do all the thinking. You ruin it for us bodies.

Cliff's body, in DOOM PATROL #34

Kiss me, Mallah! But first... please.. take that gum out of your mouth.

The Brain, in DOOM PATROL #34

Oh, Venice, Venice, what have you allowed yourself to become? Crushed by the weight of your own past, stinking slowly into the waves. They've taken away your function, removed you from the present and from the future, and turned you into a drug mainlined into the veins of history junkies.

??? in DOOM PATROL #50

I'm warning you--I have a boiled egg and I know how to use it!

??? in DOOM PATROL #50

Now. Take this street to New Mexico.

??? in DOOM PATROL #50

The Living Guru! Hip-hop bishop of beat! The cool, gone Daddio of the Deva Dimensions!

Grant Morrison goes completely insane in DOOM PATROL #53

You could say it all started in Arizona. Twenty-five years ago. On a farm.

The narrator, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

It was an ordinary sort of farm in Arizona. The kind of place where you'd have sexual relations with your parents and end up shooting someone.

The narrator, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

The well was like an old man who'd lost the desire to get dressed in the mornings. The well would sit around all day in its pajamas waiting for something to happen... Twenty-five years ago something did happen.

The narrator, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

On Tuesdays he also wears the blue socks and the grey underwear and counts his bath towels. He has twenty-five bath towels. But how could anyone survive with less?

The narrator introduces us to Michael Smith, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

Michael is a tree ape who lost most of his hairs and now has nightmares about black horses and cancer. Sometimes he feels like a rumor drifting through a world of hard facts. What's the point of you, Michael?

The narrator asks a rhetorical question, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

The little mind games he plays, like reciting the dictionary backwards from memory, fail to amuse him for long. The walls of the world have been torn down and the wind that blows through is cold and preposterous.

The Enigma waits in his room, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

He creates a new language, a new grammar, eight cases and five genders. This passes twenty minutes. Then it's boredom again...

The Enigma kills time, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

Boredom, ennui, absurdity. His closest, his only friends... It looks like there's nothing for him to do but get dressed.

Getting ready, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

He couldn't face Sandra this morning. Crept out without saying goodbye. There's a dent on the hood of his car. There's a green lizard floating across the road.

Michael's commute is interrupted, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

You see, you're all wrong. My name isn't Brain Eater. I am the Head. And I don't simply eat brains. It's something deeper than that. Something magical. Something transubstantiational. Excuse me one moment while I ... <shlurppp>

The first villain, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"

Many primitive [*] peoples believe that if you eat a person's brains, you acquire his knowledge.

[*] Footnote: A primitive person is one who doesn't drive a car. Cars are among the greatest causes of premature deaths of lizards in Arizona.

Digressing, in ENIGMA #1: "The Lizard, The Head, The Enigma"